According to child psychologists, child often tries to make friends with those who are inherent traits of character, unusual to him.So it turns out that timid child begins to make friends with a desperate and brave, silent - a chatty, docile and quiet boy chooses to friends in the courtyard of the main bully and a shy, insecure girl walks on the heels of the one that managed to go through fire and water.Parents learned about this friendship, immediately begin to worry: as you begin to manipulate their other child, use it to their dubious purposes?Do not turn any of their educated offspring uncontrollable tomboy?And these fears are understandable.
How to solve the problem?
Unfortunately, the majority of parents in this situation, make the same mistake: strictly prohibit child communicate with a certain "bad" boy or girl.But in this way it is impossible to succeed!However, if your child - you downtrodden creature for whom your credibility above all else, then maybe.But it is unlikely that such childre
more effective in this case will do the opposite - hospitably open the door of his house for all friends of the child.Try to do it sincerely, as difficult as you may be.Do not take children to discriminate: what if you're wrong about them?Suddenly, they are actually an interesting personality, the character of which really adds to your child?If the house were real young offenders - not enough for a head, do not drive them out in the open, once admitted.Talk with your child so that he came to the correct conclusion on their own.There is something that can reassure you: children's friendships often very fleeting.After a long vacation guys find their new friends and the old rarely later recalled.
Switch the child's interest
Think: maybe your child feels the lack of dynamics in life, and there, on the street, it is a life and offer?There is rikovannye adventures (not always legal), the romance of "friendship to the grave" and mutual assistance, and your child tends to wanting to experience something unknown?Then try to find a teenager from the company "antidote" in the form of classes, satisfying his craving for adventure.After all, the possibility of an adult is always more than the yard "authorities"!There are many sports clubs - not only volleyball and hockey, but also Karate, go-karting, boxing, extreme sports.Better to let the teenager jumping with a parachute or climbs through the caves under the supervision of experienced instructors, what disappears is unknown where and with anyone.There are hiking and mountaineering clubs, societies of young archaeologists and speleologists.The children go hiking, exploring hidden caves, looking for traces of ruined cities ... Romantic?And how!Risky?Yes, often - but it is organized and controlled risk.
Or, for example, the scouts.It can not be that the child did not like the brotherhood and loyalty Scouts! In short, think carefully, train for a variety of organizations, find out what kind of sections and clubs are in your area - and more!If you fail to captivate the child from the first time - do not worry.Maybe your child just does not want to climb the mountains and dreams of diving in the pool or competitions. Often children (even teenagers) do not know what they want - in this case, to help them select, giving to try their hand at various clubs.Then, sooner or later the child will certainly find "their" environment.
What if the child is already in a bad company?
much worse situation if the teenager joined a really bad company.Not at all cases when crimes are committed group among other teens and quite prosperous, and then they can not even explain what prompted them together with all transgress the law."Herd instinct", "crowd effect" - these terms psychologists refer to precisely this phenomenon.The crowd in this case - a powerful force that a child can not be resisted.If something like that had happened, the task of parents - to find out the root cause.In such a company it is most often a child who feels rejected.He did not realize at home, despised in the classroom.What does he do?Only in spite of all contact with the most incorrigible hooligans, to prove that he can be "cool".
test the waters: it really is actually your baby comfortable in the new environment, or is he just doing it to spite you, and he can not wait for you to return it in the family?Maybe he was not happy with myself the circumstances in which it was dragged, but turn to you for help, he simply afraid?In this case, let him know that you will not scold or punish him, that would be in the end neither happened.To protect themselves from bad company can only be trusted - the child must know exactly what his house will understand and will love anyone.
If your family does not practice trust, bans only play a reverse role.You yourself will push a child to those whom he trusted more than their own parents.So the best way by which you can save a teenager from bad company and unwanted communication - friendship in a warm and loving family.Ideally, these relationships are the norm for the baby from its birth.Remember: never too late to mend, put your relationship to the desired track.You can always make friends with the child, even if he had grown up and started to take many decisions on their own.