where marriage and family can be seen as small "closed" group, and unauthorized persons in them, of course, "admitted".The fact remains that in the study of family relationships is difficult to trace what actually caused this or that conflict.
little thought, it can be concluded that the reasons for which there are family quarrels, no doubt, very much.
married couple can not have a problem in terms of wealth.However, if the spouses do not have a constant inflow of positive emotions and a clear belief that a marriage partner is ready to support around another possible conflict.If one spouse can not provide support and assistance to overcome difficulties arising from different life (even if he has no doubt that the difficulties will be overcome) - it is another help for serious conflict.
If not the intimate satisfaction, finally (even if the marriage breaks down and does not) have a spouse there is a lack of vitality, lack of active life and high efficiency, creative activity - all this will lead to qu
Whatever the reason, they all talk about the fact that the couple is not the main thing - satisfaction from marriage, the whole fullness of family relations and the pleasure of it all.
Let's look at the causes, which often arise in the intimate family quarrels soil.After all, they are often the cornerstone of a divorce or the continuation of life together intolerable.
The first reason - the feeling of inferiority, prejudice, one spouse to the other.
Many conflicts arise on the basis of understated self-esteem, self-worth, the value of the concept of "I am in this world" (not to be confused with the "ego").Everyone will be very upset when touched on infringement of his personal dignity, when it is deprived of respect, when, finally, it simply are without proper respect.
when one spouse feels trapped, with respect to the infringement of their half, it certainly will produce a number of negative emotions in the family and to a large extent pass into dissatisfaction, lack of positive feelings between two people.The disadvantage is observed in the care and tenderness of spouses to each other, take care of her (it) and of course in the care and upbringing of their children.Psychological alienation between the spouses begins with low self-esteem of a spouse, to the criticism of the personality of your partner.Thus, the family is disturbed mental harmony, stability of life, and self-assertion as opposed to a growing sense of worthlessness and value to the other person.These events lead to the fact that married person is not able to approve himself as a person, remarkable for their partner.Rather on the contrary, he begins to feel a mental discomfort at the same family, a sense of embarrassment, uncertainty in their own actions, not the ability to find a way out of some everyday life (family) situation.He disappears feeling of support from the spouse (wife), and subsequently possibly also by their environment, a sense of solidarity and security.
husband is often in the position of someone who just begging or perhaps even begging for intimacy, which of course allows the wife to feel his power over her husband, to ascend to the throne.From this height, feeling the "queen", she depending on your mood will either have compassion for her husband, it oschastlivlivaya its decision or strongly discourage it "inappropriate" claims.
person who does not know all the details from the marital relationship of the pair (it's intimate, private life of two people, is not it) quite difficult to understand why a spouse, which in principle not especially shine no mind, no attraction to womensuch disdain looks at his possibly far more gifted and talented husband.The feeling of self-affirmation, self-esteem men in such relationships every day injured that gradually lowers the temperature in the hearth, replaces warm relations with cold calculation.Of course this situation is prolonged can not be, because each of us is unable to make an unpleasant situation to him forever.It will result in a serious marriage conflict with the subsequent disintegration of the family.
Another factor family quarrel which has arisen on the basis of the intimate - the appearance of a woman's feelings of aversion to physical intimacy, not satisfying as it should be.
In this case, the marriage bed is for a woman to something like a place of torture.Of course, aversion to intercourse wife and transferred to her husband, who certainly need it.And a husband is living, clenching his teeth, with a constant feeling like a victim (fear of loneliness, a sense of duty to the children), or in general denies her husband in intimacy.Of course, for the family implications of this situation are tragic again.This result arises and physical (and psychological too) failure to satisfy her husband's wife.
Than we will see such a thing as boredom in bed.
Since it must be fought with particular intensity.Remember, the bedroom - not a place for conflicts. Get familiar with all the contentious issues in advance.
addition to sex, should not be treated as proper to something (and it happens very often).An analogy.He wanted to bite people, opened the refrigerator, made a sandwich in a hurry, washed down with tea or soda.No, there should be an analogy with another concept.Sex should resemble a luxurious candlelight dinner, only in this case the couple will never be bored together.
dissimilarity opinions of men and women, conflicts in intimate soil, and in daily married life - it's certainly the most natural and harmonious relationship.But in any case, natural, rational conflict resolution can be either kindness or quarrel.What does it mean?
When kindness to family life in the foreground is the most important thing - the harmony of relations, when the quarrel is not the truth prevails and good relations, and the desire to assert itself, to emerge victorious, as a result, and possibly save your marriage and family life fullness.Although we have identified two factors that contribute to the resolution of the marital relationship for the better, it should be noted that the quarrel in principle is not a solution, because it is, of course, would undermine these relations.The highest morality in the family - it is good "loving" relationships, which are much higher positions "I am always right, and you're not."Controversial as relations only inflame the conflict, but no it does not allow it.In the family where there is an understanding of a culture of family life, it is possible long and pleasant married life.
And yet if one of the spouses, for the sake of love in the family decided to go the second way - to quarrel, to prove "I'm right", we should take advantage of the dispute as a kind of culture, which in principle is able to resolve a conflict situation.And there is nothing complicated about it.We must on the one hand, it is clear (arguments, if you like) to express their opinions without offending partner raised voices, and on the other hand, to be able to recognize the truth of her husband (wife), to be able to comply with this right.Nor in any case it is not necessary, they say, "Go to the personality," to show their "ego" mutually accuse each other or, even worse insult.The spouses, it should be consciously resist the negative emotions, even during the dispute to show their respect for each other, remember that each task is not "insist on its" and to achieve a victory in the dispute at any cost, and arrive at the truth,ieto the solution, it is nice to both of them.You need to be able to listen to his "wrangler" seek to understand his position, and, of course, be able to be in his shoes, listen to their arguments "his ears," in other words, be each other a little more attentive.
Ask yourself, "What is the happiness of family life, and simple human happiness?"
you probably guessed, the answer is simple - of course, it's love, trust, tenderness, passion, the realization that you're not useless, and someoneneeds and is able to help other people, getting help in return.I think everything.Here you can add material security of the family, the health of the spouses and, finally, many, many pleasant moments spent together.
share life together in all half: grief and joy, because you - the two halves that make up a complete human being.