Children // Psychology and development

The social and personal development of the child, promotion of a culture of child behavior

6-12 months: The first meeting with the government

All parents are confronted daily with the need to say "no" to the tiny tots who looks at them with pleading eyes and abruptly taken cry.However, this does not mean that you should give up and around him to give up.On the contrary, the sooner you set the rules, guide and protect the child, the faster it grows up.By 6-7 months like most kids tearing glasses with nose and grandmother to pull the mother's necklace.This is perfectly normal, they are just going through a period of development, when you want to explore the unfamiliar faces, trying to poke fingers in the mouth, nose, ears and pull the brilliant and so attractive for them to decorate!You should not allow your child to behave and laugh at him.It is best if you gently but firmly take him out and making disapproving face, and say, "No, it's a good thing, I really treasure it, if you're going to pull for it, you break it, and I do not like it!" The Kidover the age of 6 months, after hearing this

explanation, I am able to realize that you can not do, and turned his attention to toys and rattles.Mimicry parents in conjunction with gestures make him stop.

Rule of Three "can not»

With 12 months of the child's behavior is driven by "epistemological" rush (it's too complex expression explains that the child longs for a new experience, wanting to explore the world around him, to move, to walk, to touch all).This desire for independence and discovery inevitably raises the baby face to face with danger.And then you must inform the child and his education to use in what psychologists call the rule of three "no": you can not put yourself in danger, you can not endanger others and can not become a domestic despot, that is necessary to respect others and their belongings.These prohibitions should be explained to the child of an order at the moment when he first began to communicate with the outside world, and move independently.If you do not, if, for example, you allow him to climb on the table, it may fall and get hurt.This negative experience discourage his desire to start anew, and will include braking mechanisms that will prevent its movement forward, its development.For a quick and easy assimilation of vital rules and bases of power necessary to your child naturally and with confidence to rely on raising his adult.Every time he caught something new, a child turns to a parent and looking in his eyes or the words authorization to stop or continue.If a parent calls his or frowned upon, it will be enough that the child obeyed and came back.If mimic his approval when he said: "Come on, you can go!", The child gains confidence and continues its activities.Parent and child consistently supervise their actions.Senior Power expressed without violence, and the child learns the basis of conduct which is the basis of future relations with the public.

2-3 year: parental opposition "no" and "no" self-affirming baby

to 2 years of a child is inclined to think that he is the center of the universe, and with only his wishes should be considered associates.The famous psychologist Jean Piaget gave the first description of a special children from 2 to 7 years: it is inherent in self-centeredness.Not to be confused with the selfishness of the child, it is a way of thinking.At this age, your child likes to take than to give, and it would be perfectly arranged, if it was for him.The opinion he considers the most important and is not able to put themselves in the place of another.That's where the whims and terrible tantrums, he satisfied when he denied what he wants.This period of self-assertion in the child's development extends to three and a half years.In continuation of this "denial phase" a child needs an adult to resist and say "no" to become the individual and self-assertion."He says 'no' to do the opposite!At this point in life it is necessary that the child understood the limits of his omnipotence.It is recommended to allow the child to express themselves and develop their personality, but you need to be able to say "no" to "no" to the child.If the child is found before the restrictions that protect him, but now he just needs limits.He was not alone in the world!If possible, you should explain to your child why he can not do it, but in some cases it is necessary to teach him the rules harshly, "Stop it, I told you" no "- it means no!", Raising his voice and making big eyes.For this "no" was a useful, can be designated at the time of the ban, "You are still very small, you can do it when you're big" - and then, "No, you can not be one, I'll help you."The child will limit in the atmosphere of goodwill and mutual trust. "A child more willing to accept parental prohibitions and fears that his personal state of mind is respected and parents are friendly to him.

3-4 years: symbolic bans

Specific rules of life in society is important for the child, but the bans symbolic needed him to help realize power.In the age of the Oedipus complex, little girls want to marry my father, and little boys want to marry my mother.Love of one of the parents pushing them to take the place of the parent-rival, but they feel terribly guilty, because, of course, are very fond of both parents.It is important that the Oedipus wish is faced with the prohibition of incest reported by the child's parents, that children do not marry or are married parents.When parents say "no" to the wishes of the child, "no" to his unrealizable fantasies, they show their power and confronted with the reality of the child's face.And then the child understands that he must reckon with the wishes of others.If you tell him "no", you will teach him a clear rule of life, which will help him to create their own internal security.He realizes that he is a civilized human being with the same rights and responsibilities as everyone else.

5-6 years: Casual rules

Power senior manifested in compliance with the agenda, which organizes the child.In the morning we get up, get dressed and have breakfast.Snack at 16.30.If the child does not want to eat it, even if not eating.Do not give him candy or allowed to eat lunch at 18.00.In the evening, it's time to leave and go to sleep on his bed.If you teach the child these settings supported by precise rules, the child slowly but surely can move toward independence.Surprisingly, the obedient child is much more independent than naughty.If you go on about all the desires of the child, he feels anxious.A display of power could calm him down.Just do not play the exemplary parent when a child is just born.Power manifests itself and grow stronger gradually, in collaboration of the child and the parent.Bans imposed gradually.You can not expect from a child all at once.Education - this is not an iron hand, you should not try to "bend" the child and help him become a better person.