Children // Psychology and development

FAQs young children

Remember Kipling's tale about a curious elephant?He tortured many relatives - and strausihu and hippopotamus, and all others - his endless questions, they now and then reward him with blows.But this was not the end: Battered, but inflexible elephant went to the crocodile - to find out what he eats for lunch Miraculously he managed not to become that very meal, and in memory of the battle with the crocodile elephant has since remained an elongated trunk ... Many parents think, caught myself too irresistible urge to somehow stop up their own "elephant".But we are still being smarter than the characters of Kipling tale.Physical punishment of "Who Knows?" Does not apply, even if they are from morning till night we fall asleep hundreds of questions, among which come across terribly uncomfortable, that will put an impasse anyone ...

hundred thousand "Why?»

Home - Breathedeeper, do not worry and take it for granted that your child is in this sense is not the only one.He just grew up to fun and memorabl

e age - "pochemuchek age."In 3-5 years a variety of questions, including such tricky, pouring out of each as of leaky bag, and it is quite natural.There are children who at this age is set to 400-500 questions a day.No wonder that in this turbulent flow are also some "inconvenient."Children come into the world where they do not understand many things, and who, besides you, explain how we've got all the work?By asking questions, the child intently working on creating his own picture of the world.It is not important and minor - all he cares about.Moreover, increased inquisitiveness and curiosity in children, the desire to stick his nose everywhere can be one of the signs of a creative genius.Therefore, it is good when a child asks questions;bad when it does not.For example, a child with mental retardation delayed and asked "Why?".Here in this case, we need to seriously look into the causes and even, perhaps, with the help of a psychologist or a doctor.Therefore, never scold your howcast, even if his craving for knowledge seems excessive to you, and questions - indecent.And of course, do not laugh at them - because your laughter can once and discourage him any desire to ask whatever questions.In any case, you.Just think, we are not surprised, and even touches children's questions like, "Why does it rain?" "Why a camel hump?" Or "Why did I walk in the shoes, and the cat - barefoot?".On these and many other questions adult children usually respond calmly and in detail, keeping nothing back.But the baby - being innocent and guileless.For it is no taboo subjects, taken in adult society.So do not distinguish between his emerging issues, organize them according to our own ideas: the question to answer is possible, and this can not be too early or at all - well, what nonsense he is?Remember: there is no obscene or stupid children's questions, there is only vulgar or silly reaction to them by adults.

  • Here are bad answers to questions like the kid.

«Are not you ashamed to ask!»

expressing their dissatisfaction and anger, you push a child and again forcing him to seek answers from other people.In addition, when it is below should not feel guilty that he asked a question.After all, he did not do it on purpose, in order not to annoy you, to drive into the paint.He just said, because it's interesting, that's all."And now Sergei come home and will eat curds ..." The idea to switch attention to something else is not new, it is a traditional technique of manipulation, well-known in psychology.In some case it might work, but only temporarily.You'll see - a child soon anyway again ask this or similar "uncomfortable" question.Either realize that you do not like the question, he blurted out that something is not right, and why - is unclear, and feel no guilt guilty.It turns out that such a "translation arrow" - not a solution.The child needs information, and it will make every effort to get it.

«grow up - learn!" No, he heard that answer, the child will not wait for when he grows up.It matters little ones are always relevant.Information child needs immediately, and he learns very fast, but not from you, but from the more advanced comrades.And they lash him there, in what terms, and to you in a bad dream did not dream.Everywhere full of life, and everywhere there her young experts - in kindergarten, and in the yard, and even in the sandbox.So it is better to take this work on yourself."Ask my mother (father, grandparents)."Having said that, you simply dismiss the child.Demonstrate indifference to the same helplessness.Your great authority melting before our eyes.No, it is just a question addressed to you, answer it should be you and only you.

On any questions you can answer more frankly, with a greater degree of objectivity, but still available for children perception.As if you were talking to an adult, but much easier.Another way to answer these questions - a counter-proposal to "think together".This is a great diplomatic move - to ask the child what he thinks about it.He certainly has his own version - that they dis- cussed it.Perhaps the child will express something quite reasonable and close to the truth.But even if his views are far from reality, you give him the opportunity not merely to listen to you and be your companion, speculate, and this is a very useful exercise.Time endless questions, including "inconvenient", will fly very quickly.And you - for the acquired habit - the whole life will look for answers to vital questions of your child growing up, even though he had long since ceased to ask them to you.

about it

There is a "inconvenient" questions asked by their parents is absolutely all children.The question about the fact where they come from.The most remarkable way to formulate a girl, the daughter of friends of Teachers' Mom, as published children? "And this five-year Sonia, and other modern urban children it would be strange to present the story of the antediluvian cabbage, storks or store.Stork they may never have seen the cabbage was observed only at the supermarket, and there are some shops, have heard very good.So these options already worthless.The most popular adult answer to this question is the classic phrase: "Children come from my mother's belly", but the modern child is not such as to settle down on this.Most likely, he will be questioned further.And, suddenly, there are no stereotypes.It is understood that the three-year child on this topic need to talk differently than the five-year, with the girl - differently than with the boy.It is important to answer this question so that the information received did not scare him too much naturalism, but a figure of silence here in what: in this case, the child will feel that parents conceal from him something shameful, and it can also be fraught with trauma.

think together

In short, here as in the game - "Yes and no do not say black and white do not get."Do not prevaricate, not tricky, and do not be angry.Everything else - at your discretion.General advice is not here, all children are different, and a lot depends on your parental intuition, which will allow you to find the right words and precise intonation in conversation with the kid, not adapting to any standard.The main thing - giving answers to sensitive issues, consider the level of development of the child.What he understood is unable, still fly past his consciousness.Also, remember that any information, including the one that the baby receives from you is not only the facts, but also because of their estimation.And in this case it is important just your score, it is the attitude of the child will form a "slippery" subject matter.Simply put, no matter what the word, which the uncle said in the store, it is important that the word is - bad.And another uncle thick, because the sick, and it is so hard, so let's spare him, and we will not point a finger at him.