October
26
08:00
Relations

Help your neighbor, but do not harm the final

Life Saving. help others, but do not harm the final - it should be in first place at the helping.When you can not help asking, as a rule, the most reasonable - not to go to the voluntary initiatives: there is a great risk of being a disservice.When you complain directly, hoping that somehow you will be able to relieve the suffering - you have three choices.
1. More or less gently pull away.If you understand that helping one's neighbor can not only addicted to an unpleasant situation.However, at the same time still feel uncomfortable.
2. In order not to hurt the final - either him or myself should not rush headlong into salvation as jumping into the water to the cry of a drowning, without thinking, you do know how to swim.It is possible that the wonderful power will make both of you, but it may happen that the two drowned.
3. Think how exactly can improve the lot of the sufferer.Explain to him that you are not a magician, but only learn - and do not promise to save him and express his vision of the probl
em - may help.And hold him psychotherapy sessions.Amateur, of course, from the word love.After all, someone who is unpleasant to you in the shower, you are unlikely to be able to bring real benefits.

Workshop aspiring fairies. To comfort the person is not too difficult.To do this: carefully and sensitively listen to him.Reprimand, cry to someone who inspires confidence - this alone brings relief."Patient" may in the course of the story, and he come to understand that it needs.Make it clear to the suffering that he was not the only sufferer in the world.Give examples of how this happened to your acquaintances, and even better - as you once coped with this problem themselves."The sad Pierrot" is usually immersed in an intolerable present situation: it seems that life is not a success and ahead of anything is not shining.To help the neighbor, is to remind him of past successes - "could, then, do not forget!And then everything will turn out, it's just not a good band. "Finally, the focus is not on the suffering, and on specific points "program for overcoming the crisis."Real actions are sobering.If the order of the interlocutor with a sense of humor, you can arrange it, "Laughter."

help to find the funny side in a situation to bring his "wrap" to the absurd.After all, a person who can laugh at their own difficulties, is already beginning to be overcome.
Doctor, heal thyself.To do no harm and finally himself, to devote part of its useful psychoanalysis itself.Why usually want to help others?Of affirmation: feel good very nice;helping people lift up their own self-esteem.

To calm: when the very good and close to somebody bad and hard, you feel uncomfortable.Out of gratitude: Many got rid of some problems, devoting herself to helping fellow former sufferers.From the desire to share the experience: you know how something is - and this must be someone else.It is necessary to realize themselves and to increase the number of good in the world.To effectively help your neighbor, do not take it down sorrows: that of stupidity all your difficulties.Do not rush to hasty conclusions and advice."Someone else's misfortune hands reconnoiter" - not particularly effective principle.

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